Welcome, dear, dear reader. Did you know that the number one reason people die in the United States is heart disease? Did you know that people can prevent this tragic fate by simply eating healthily and exercising? As the official** sponsor of the American Heart Association, the Health Lords have helped people live longer and better for over 2007 years, since the virgin (woot woot) Mary founded us to keep her alive. It has worked. Throughout these 2007 years, people around the globe have seen Her - in a church, on a wall, and even on a moldy grilled cheese sandwich. So, if you value your life, join this popular movement.
Or else you will be destroyed.
PAINFULLY!
**The AHA doesn't know it, but that doesn't matter. We're still official.